hollowboobtheory:

gallusrostromegalus:

marraphy:

esperantoauthor:

blog-carmex:

rattle-my-stars:

myusersnamegoeshere:

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he was in the fridge!!!

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

Originally posted by ripepineapple

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…

mutuals put me in your fridge

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”

“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”

“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.

“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’.
…Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”

“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”

“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”

he was named after the tortoise

itsryanguys:

I think animal crossing fans x legally blonde fans will like this that I tried to create haha

lesbian-for-jolyne:

the-great-fuckhead-whos-pan:

roseverdict:

kimmycup:

omgbubblesomg:

funny-tik-toks:

Thera the deaf ferret gets a surprise!

😲

This is what PURE JOY looks like.

ah, to be a deaf ferret surprised with an avalanche of toys…

i-, i- wanna cry

This is my favorite post

rayhiramitsu: